Hello and Goodbye

This blog has now been moved here, as a result of a blog identity crisis.

S.S.

This is Nova with her buddy "S.S." (aka. Strawberry Shortcake). Although S.S. has to compete with Elmo, Gymbo, Thomas, Dora and assorted other robot and monster characters, S.S. can always make Nova smile. Especially when daddy or mommy add the magic S.S. voice. I also believe she has contributed to Nova's seemingly endless hunger for "berries" in whatever form available (which also includes anything that even comes close to looking like a raisin.) The days of silently enjoying a bowl of Cheerios with Berries are over. Nova can spot a berry in a bowl from a mile away. But we do love S.S!

My Heart Belongs to Solvang!

We went to Solvang,CA for a night during a recent three day weekend. It was our third visit and Nova's first visit to the Danish capital of the US! Solvang, CA is a very quaint little village located about two hours from Los Angeles, slightly northeast of Santa Barbara. Solvang feels like a little movie set. The town comes complete with windmills, candy stores, toy stores, surrey rides, and jacuzzi cottages (if you are savvy enough to reserve in advance).

Some fun activities to enjoy while in Solvang: wine-tasting (the movie Sideways was filmed in and near Solvang in the Santa Ynez Valley), eat fudge, shop for clogs, sample famous Danish Aebelskivers, or visit the beautiful historic Santa Ynez Mission. It is also a very child friendly destination (unless of course you want the wine-tasting angle). Just outside of Solvang is Buellton, CA which is home of the famous Pea Soup Andersen's restaurant.

Nova tasted chocolate fudge for the first time, I scored a pair of pink suede clogs on sale, and Aaron got to watch cable TV in bed. The scenery was majestic and peaceful, the people were warm and friendly, and the food was decadent. We had a great time and I will always love Solvang!

Love of Listening!

Happy Valentines Day! I am in love with this. It is one of the greatest documentary projects ever created! It is a traveling exhibit which allows you, through the marvels of modern technology, to interview a loved one in a private soundbooth, housed in nothing more perfectly swanky than a converted Airstream trailer. As if my love affair with Airstream wasn't enough. Now it has been combined with my love for documenting regular everyday human existence. StoryCorps allows you to interview anyone you want, an aging relative, a young child, your mother-in-law or best friend.

Love grows with listening. This project allows you to generate your own questions in hopes of invoking a candid insightful moment between you and your chosen loved one. It captures the small beautiful stories which live between everyday people. These stories air regularly on NPR, and so many times I have been touched by the intimate revelations of these interviews. Speak with the World War generation and find yourself being transported back to brightly-lit cherry-pie kitchens with Glen Miller playing on the radio. Hear couples speak of the successful ingredients to a happy marriage. Hear a midlife mother tell her ten-year-old son that she wouldn't change a thing about him. So many varied and beautiful slices of life! Each oral history interview also gets placed in the StoryCorp Archive at the Library of Congress.

I have been in love with sound recording for as long as I have been in love with picture recording. As a young girl I would carry around an old-style Montgomery Ward tape recorder with the plug-in microphone. In my mid-twenties as a film school geek, I often carried my handheld tape recorder around with me, recording bits of this or that. Cassette tape was so much cheaper than Super 8 film!! And I have always been a "Documentarian" at heart. What better way to show someone you love them, than a desire to document their life and to sit down and really, truly listen to their personal story?

Creative Reinvention

"There is a fountain of youth - it is your mind, your talents, and the creativity you bring to life and the lives of people you love."
- Sophia Loren

Creativity means everything to me. It is spiritual, and essential, and wonderful. It has kept me going in times of need. During the most difficult times of my life, the single greatest gift that I have had is the ability to envision greater possibilities. "Without vision, the people perish." is from the biblical Proverbs and I believe it to be true. Dreamers are, have and always will be the creators of our future worlds. Dreamers make the world go round. From the Wright brothers to the Ipod, it all starts with a dream.

Unfortunately, life in this modern society does not always prioritize creativity at the top of the list (unless it's for the sake of commerce). Although, I am not very big on traditional New Year's Resolutions, I like to think of it as a time to re-evaluate, redefine and organize. I am redefining this as the "Year of Creative Reinvention." I am determined to get more creativity at the top of the list, because I want it at the top of Nova's list. It has been sadly lacking in my life as I have been focusing much of my energy on becoming a new parent and a financially responsible adult. (At least compared to my previously financially irresponsible self).

2005 brought many milestones. It was my first full year of being a mom. Aaron and I both celebrated our 35th birthdays. We celebrated our third wedding anniversary. We celebrated Nova's first birthday. We also took her on her first cross-country roadtrip from CA to Illinois. It was the sixth trip for us. She did amazingly well! My sister flew out to CA twice (for my birthday and for Nova's) Unfortunately, there was sadness as well. The year started off horribly as Aaron's Nana passed away suddenly. In October, I had to leave Nova with Aaron for three days to fly back home when my dear Aunt Delores passed away. But how can we know joy if we never feel sorrow?

All in all, it was an amazing year! I think we have done a great job adjusting to life with baby! We have also done a great job establishing a solid daily routine and getting Nova to sleep though the night (usually). Of course, new challenges arise daily, as I'm sure they will for the next eighteen years. I have occasional meltdowns or moments of fearful worry of the future. Mostly, I know that Nova seems happy 98% of the time, we are doing the best that we can and we have a lot of love to give.

Now that I have some confidence with my parenting abilities, it is time for me to reinvent myself even further. What type of mother do I want to be? (beyond competent). What image of myself do I want to present to her? Obviously, there are things I would like to improve (like the occasional curse that still slips out in traffic). I do my best when I have a clear vision in my mind of what I would like to be. My goal this year is to develop a bigger, better vision of my new "mommy-self". Creative, loving earth-mother? Confident, determined esteem-builder? Active and fun joy-provider? All excellent visions to strive for.

Since New Years Eve, I have been thinking about these two separate aspirations and I keep coming up with the notion of "creative reinvention" and that is when I serendipitously stumbled upon the Sophia Loren quote. What ideas does "creative reinvention" stir up for you?

I'm The Target Audience

I am a Target addict. I give up trying to hide it. I have completely stopped trying to convince my husband that there are valid reasons that it takes me four hours to shop there. There is no excuse other than the fact that I love to wander ever so slowly from one end of the store to the other looking at dozens of items which I don't need right now but think I might need someday. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I grew up in a town which revolved around Wal-Mart because there was nothing else.

I distinctly remember how the affair began about ten years ago. While shopping at a Target in 1995, I remarked to my female shopping companion that Target had such well-designed merchandise. She agreed and we laughed it off and continued on our fun-filled day of shopping, lunching at Applebees and wondering how Waterworld could have cost so much to make. Little did I know that my pupils would slowly be turned into little red bullseyes over time.

Fast forward ten years down the road and Isaac Mizrahi and Cynthia Rowley are hawking everything from purses to shower curtains. One of the biggest seductions of Target is that it is now actually possible to get any bland household instrument in the form of a cooler designed version from your local Target store. Never knew how bad your toilet plunger sucked until you saw the cute little red one at Target that fits into it's own case. Need a new ironing board? No problem. Would you prefer Mod or Shabby Chic? The madness truly hit me when I discovered that Cynthia Rowley's "Swell" line includes a collection of household cleaning equipment like buckets and rubber gloves.

The other factor that plays into my marathon sessions at Target is the oh so smart tactic that I call "sporadic clearance Easter eggs". If you allow yourself to wander through Target at my tortoise pace, you can sometimes discover little hidden gems of marked down clearance merchandise. The little fuschia stickers glow like golden tickets. Some are concentrated on endcaps. Others are nestled in rows of regularly priced merchandise. On a really lucky day, you may find something which you previously admired but resisted because it was over your Target budget. Now you get it for half price or less. I have found some amazing things at Target for $1.98. But don't let them fool you, they know what they're doing!

I've fallen right into their trap. I know I'm not the only one. My visit last week to the Burbank Target(lucky for me, I live strategically close to two very different Targets) made me feel not so ashamed. The place was full of glassy-eyed women wandering around politely admiring each other's babies. They were my momentary comrades, and I knew how their brains were also spinning with hidden materialistic desires and budgetary restraints. I could sense their telepathic messages to the children to please remain subdued and obedient through the remainder of their Target expedition (aka. mommy's fix).

Fortunately, my Target love has yet to be hampered by my daughter's company. Nova has been a completely understanding baby and spent several hours at a time with me under the big red bullseye. Of course I have also been known to head there when I am given official "Me Time" by the hubby. Why in God's name would anyone want to spend three hours in a Target when they could do anything they want (and only really get one chance a week to have that freedom?) Only an addict.

As an active addict, it is also my duty to remain in denial and try to place the blame on something outside of myself. This instance would have to be the hip eye-candy commercials. Target commercials have gotten increasingly more complex in the subatomic nanotechnological hypnosis methods they employ. When a Target ad spontaneously unfolds during my tv viewing experience, I swear endorphins are released in my body. They're just so much darn fun to watch!

In my total anti-establishment years I never wanted to become a person to use the two words "commercial" and "cool" in the same sentence, but damnit Target has the coolest commercials ever! The only true competitors being Apple Ipod and maybe Volkswagen. How can I possibly defend myself against the sensory explosion of a Target commercial? Although for many years I denied the materialistic side of my personality, Target hits it right on the spot and it feels so good.

Journey to the Heartland

It's been almost a month since we've returned from our three-week long road trip to the heartland of America, mainly Oklahoma City and then southern Illinois. This time was even stranger, because it was our first trip with Nova. She did amazingly well, especially during the long days of traveling by car. In fact, the whole experience seemed to spur her into a mega-growth spurt. During the trip she sprouted her two bottom front teeth and started crawling! We were even able to maintain her sleeping schedule for the most part. That said, the trip "home" is always difficult and emotional for me. It is difficult to live so far away from people who really matter.

Since relocating to California, I have never really been able to fully reconcile the two parallel worlds which now exist for me: California vs. The Midwest. They are like parallel universes, existing simultaneously but unable to merge. When you visit one, it is hard to believe the other exists, and vice versa.

Even after seven years, California still feels like an alien landscape to me at times, with it's abundance of surgically altered faces and bodies, narrow palm trees touching the sky, frantic-paced drivers with little space-age clip-on phone receivers, crowded health food stores full of people talking to themselves while trying to find organic goat's milk yogurt, Doggie boutiques, movie premieres, grocery store celebrities, Hummer limos, ranting vagrants, and electric car charging stations. The Midwest seems so beautiful and exotic to me now. Ironic, that it once seemed dull and oppressive. These are the things I love the most about the Midwest:

1. A pace so slow that you sometimes don't even know what to do with your day

2. An endlessly expansive brilliant blue sky with big fluffy cumulus clouds
drifting through it

3. Lush greenery that is dripping with the vibrating sounds of locusts humming
4. Thunderstorms rattling the house in the middle of the night

5. Yard sales that are five tables deep

6. People who say "Hello" to a stranger

7. Not waiting in lines anywhere

8. Houses and buildings made of brick

9. Empty roads and highways

10.Millions of twinkling stars against a black infinite canvas of a sky

For me, the Midwest is like a lover that I left a long time ago, only to later realize through self-reflection that I was the one at fault. But if I were to rush back with open arms and apologize, I would eventually see that all the reasons why I initially left are still there.